I can see a funny piece of business when he initially tries to open the can. What if he fumbled at the top of the can with his feathers before an "oh duh" at which point he goes for the talon.
I can see the water pump bit having a locked down camera for all of the actions in a sorta cut, action, cut, action, cut, action BOOM!
When he flies, I can totally see him flipping out of control, then stabilizing and flapping a little bit, big happy grin as he nears the can, reaches out, and then SLAM cut to faceplant.
The truck ending is a bit cliche. It was a bit too predictable, in my opinion. I like the reference back to "why did the chicken cross the road?" and I think you could linger on that a bit. Maybe wide shot and have him skitter across the road in a very desperate chicken style. Show off your animation guns. Maybe cut to a really wide angle of him "crossing the road" to emphasize the joke. Then he gets to the other side and picks up the beer and smiles, or it opens, or something more uplifting, with a big stupid smile. Cut to black, and you hear the can opening or something.
That's how I see those shots play in my mind, just some food for thought. Definitely feel strongly against the whole truck hit cop out. Think answering the age old question of why the chicken crossed the road (to get a beer) would be funnier.
I'm crazy about animation and striving to become better. Currently at the School of Visual Arts. Majoring in Computer art, I'm developing my thesis for senior year.
I like it alot meek - it reads really well too.
ReplyDeleteI can see a funny piece of business when he initially tries to open the can. What if he fumbled at the top of the can with his feathers before an "oh duh" at which point he goes for the talon.
ReplyDeleteI can see the water pump bit having a locked down camera for all of the actions in a sorta cut, action, cut, action, cut, action BOOM!
When he flies, I can totally see him flipping out of control, then stabilizing and flapping a little bit, big happy grin as he nears the can, reaches out, and then SLAM cut to faceplant.
The truck ending is a bit cliche. It was a bit too predictable, in my opinion. I like the reference back to "why did the chicken cross the road?" and I think you could linger on that a bit. Maybe wide shot and have him skitter across the road in a very desperate chicken style. Show off your animation guns. Maybe cut to a really wide angle of him "crossing the road" to emphasize the joke. Then he gets to the other side and picks up the beer and smiles, or it opens, or something more uplifting, with a big stupid smile. Cut to black, and you hear the can opening or something.
That's how I see those shots play in my mind, just some food for thought. Definitely feel strongly against the whole truck hit cop out. Think answering the age old question of why the chicken crossed the road (to get a beer) would be funnier.
Can't wait to see this start moving.